Solutions for Marital Problems
Hope for Your Marriage
Chapter One of the Book
Help for Relationship Blockers
John Eckenwiler has appeared twice on "The Balancing Act" on the Lifetime TV Network
John talks about his book and the 3 key elements to marital success
John answer's questions from the audience the 2nd.
SUCCESS IN YOUR SECOND MARRIAGE
You probably already know that if you are divorced and considering remarriage, your statistical chances of its success is lower with each additional marriage. But statistics are NOT causes of divorce; they only report what happens. They don't say YOU have to be one of the statistics. If you are getting remarried, or already have, what these statistics do tell you is that you need to do some extra homework to be sure your marriage will last. If you do the work, the work will do for you.
Defining love the wrong way is one major reason many first marriages fail. It sets you up for failure almost before you even get started. You definitely want to make sure you don't make that mistake in your remarriage. As I describe on page 98 of the book, "Jeff found this out the hard way. He married later in life (in his early forties) for the first time to Paula, who was in her mid-thirties and had already been married three times. The first major issue in their marriage came up about a year into it. While they were still dating, Jeff had told Paula about some debt he acquired that he had not disclosed when they first started seeing each other. Unbeknownst to him, she apparently never resolved her feelings of anxiety about the way she found out about it (she found out by accident). As soon as a few mild conflicts arose in the marriage, Paula wanted out, citing this premarital issue as the reason! Her original response was clearly an overreaction, yet her love commitment was tainted by it.
By the time he made it to my office, Jeff was utterly bewildered about what had just happened to him. Less than a year earlier, the couple had exchanged promises to stick with each other no matter what. What in the world happened? Believe it or not, this couple had dated for two years before getting married. Well, here's the catch. Jeff never really talked with her about the meaning of commitment and knew very little about Paula's views on marriage. And this after knowing she had been married three times before!"
You can't afford to assume anything if you are thinking about getting married again - or already have. Be sure that you have left no stone unturned. Don't let emotions or hormones guide your decision-making and your judgment. The information you need is available. Learn how to find it.
Order the book "Shatterproof Your Marriage" Here!
Shatterproof your Marriage - What Makes Couples Want to Give Up and How to Prevent it.
a book John Eckenwiler, LMFT- Licensed Marriage and Family Counselor LMFC
Approved
Supervisor, AAMFT, a Member of the Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy and
The
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
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© 2008 Shatterproof Your Marriage - John Eckenwiler, LMFT
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